Unfortunately, relationships are not all happiness and sunshine. There are times when things get rough and we find ourselves less than happy.
We all have our bad days and arguments with the people we love, and within a relationship this can be difficult to deal with. Often, we find ourselves pushing down our unhappiness in an effort not to make waves. However, this typically backfires and leads to resentment and even more unhappiness.
The biggest thing about being unhappy in a relationship is figuring out what the problem is and if it can be fixed. We never want to give up on love and our partner, but we also need to figure out when we can fix the unhappiness and when it is simply time to walk away.
It is important to remember that being alone is not the worst thing ever and suffering with unhappiness in order to continue a relationship is not healthy. The reality is that it is unfair to continue to be in an unhappy relationship, because you are not just hurting yourself, you are also hurting your partner.
In order to figure out how to fix the unhappiness you are experiencing, you need to determine what the cause is. Is there something happening at work that is coming home with you? Are money problems impacting your relationship?
If the problem is something outside of your relationship that is leaking in to the interactions you both have, then you may need to find a way to change your circumstances. Talk to your partner. Be open and honest with them about what you are dealing with at work or with family and friends that is negatively effecting your relationship.
However, if outside forces are not the problem, you may have to consider what is really at the root of your unhappiness. What is it about your relationship that is not working anymore?
Perhaps you are in a rut and need to change things up. Maybe bad habits are wearing you down. Or perhaps its something much sadder, maybe the relationship has simply run its course and it is time to move on before resentment builds.
Whatever the problem is, it is important to identify the cause of your unhappiness and figure out how to address the issue. If it is something outside of the relationship itself, talk to your partner and let them know what is going on and maybe they will be able to give you the support you clearly need.
If your unhappiness stems from a feeling of being unfulfilled, you may need to examine what it is you need out of your relationship, because no one should be unhappy when they are with their partner.
If you are truly unhappy in your relationship here are some things you should do:
- Talk to your partner – This might seem obvious, but often the most obvious solutions are the best.
- Figure out the problem – Pin pointing what is wrong is the first step to changing the way you feel.
- Focus on yourself – You are the one who is unhappy and that means putting your attention on you.
- Change what you can – Once you have determined the problem, make the necessary changes to alleviate the unhappiness. If you don’t try to change the problem, you will never be happy.
- Step back – Taking a step back in order to take a break might seem hard to do, but this is your chance to really evaluate what you want and need.
- Take responsibility – When it comes to unhappiness, we often make it worse for ourselves. Take responsibility for your own part in being unhappy.
- Don’t blame anyone – Even if some of your unhappiness is because of your partner’s actions, placing blame does nothing but lead to more unhappiness.
- Leave the relationship – If all else fails and there is really no way to make things work, then perhaps the relationship is over and it is time to leave.
Ending a relationship hurts, and is truly a last resort, but if you can’t solve the problem of your unhappiness then it may be time to go your separate ways.
No one wants to be unhappy and if you can figure out what is causing you to feel this way, then perhaps you can find a way to fix it. Remember that communication is the key to a solid relationship, and you should always try to make things work and deal with things together.
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