There’s nothing like the soft, warm comfort that you feel when you’ve started sleeping with someone. I mean actually sleeping. The warmth of their body next to yours lulls you to sleep. For about ten minutes that is till your arm starts to fall asleep. Your partner begins to fidget, and their body discovers its discomfort. And it turns out that your bed had more room when it was just you.
That doesn’t change the beautiful dreamy feeling of cuddling up and fading off to sleep. So the challenge becomes sleeping and not just tossing and turning all night. Or battling it out in a comforter war to end all wars. Don’t fret; we’ve figured out some fool-proof solutions to this fundamental life problem.
Check Your Bed Size
First things first, if your bed barely fits you, you probably aren’t going to have much luck fitting someone else. So, instead of fighting for space consider your reality. You’ll never find comfort piled on top of each other. Buying a new bed may not be an option. In that case, if your partner’s bed is larger compromise on sleeping there more often. Or get yourselves a big old air mattress to pull out for a sleepover. Don’t worry – there won’t be anything juvenile about these slumber parties.
Are You Hot and Then Cold?
While we are equipped with internal thermostats not everyone’s homeostasis is the same. If your partner is always freezing and you find yourself melting quicker than the polar ice caps, you might have a problem. Don’t worry though, one of you doesn’t have to compromise on being miserable for the night. Just use multiple and separate blankets. The cold one can have two small quilts. The hot gets one big blanket that covers the both of you. Poof wahlah you’ve creased dual climate control for the bed. Speaking of duality, this trick works for blanket hogs too!
Your Bed Is Big Your Partner Sleeps Bigger
So, in theory, you have plenty of space. Your king size bed is sprawled out in front of you promising loads of space. Then your partner gets in and spreads their every limb as far apart as possible. You’d think they were stretching for Olympic yoga. In truth, this crazy position is how your partner actually sleeps! This is where boundaries come in. It turns out they have a healthy role in all aspects of life. So you create sides of the bed, with an invisible line down the middle. Your partner is now free to sleep in whatever acrobatic position their heart desires… so long as it’s on their side of the bed!
Cuddling Becomes Claustrophobic
It’s not like you’re against a good dose of oxytocin (the love hormone released through cuddles). It’s just that after a while the touch of their skin burns against yours. The weight of their head is pressing to hard down on your chest. You want to move your arm but if you do you risk hurting your loved one’s feelings. Exposing your claustrophobia will create a bigger separation then the end of your cuddles. But the truth is that a conversation is the best solution to this problem. Let your partner know that you love cuddling up with them at night but that after a while your body has to change positions. It needs some time off. This may be hard to say and harder for your partner to hear. But once the truth is known, you’ll both feel a lot better. Your partner won’t be hurt when you need a cuddle break for space. And you won’t feel pressured to stay in an uncomfortable position. Best of all your partner will know how special it is when you do cuddle. Especially when it’s a long cuddle.
In truth, this is the one problem that usually resolves itself in time. We love to cuddle when we meet someone special. The high of falling for someone is only made sweeter by the comfort of their touch. Eventually, though, you both become more comfortable with space. It becomes just as much an expression of love as laying on top of each other.