You connected with a guy enough that you pulled the trigger and decided to sleep with him. But now he has ghosted you and you’re left scratching your head and wondering what happened.
While we don’t have all the answers and certainly don’t know your guy and what was going through his head, we may be able to help give you an idea behind what happened. Basically, we have some hints as to why a guy would ignore you after sex.
And no, it’s not all your fault. Sometimes, it really is all about the sex.
All They Wanted Was Sex
So like we just mentioned, it really was all about getting sex. Literally, all this guy wanted was sex. Which means that now that he got what he wanted, he is done and moved on.
On the one hand if you had a discussion about sex before you did it, then you may already know this. That means you really shouldn’t be surprised that he has basically ghosted you. He made it clear what he wanted and now that it’s happened, he has moved on and you need to as well.
However, if you didn’t talk about it beforehand, you need to learn from this experience. Going forward, it’s best to figure it out before the sex happens, because the last thing you want is to continually get ghosted after sex. It will leave you with feelings of inadequacy for no reason.
They Weren’t Looking For Serious
If you sleep with someone who isn’t looking for anything beyond the sex, you can’t be that surprised that they are ignoring you after the fact. They aren’t looking for any kind of commitment and considering you probably never discussed it before you had sex (no judgement zone), it’s actually not surprising they are ignoring you now.
They obviously didn’t want anything serious and now, they are basically distancing themselves. While it may not feel good to be ignored, it makes sense (unfortunately).
They Had a Freak Out
This really does happen! Basically, they had sex with you and now thoughts of the future are pounding through their head. Even if you weren’t even looking for something serious, in their mind things have ramped up and now they need space.
In this situation, it’s not even about you or the sex. Instead, this is them freaking out about the things going on in their head. Basically, even the idea of commitment is freaking them out and nothing you say is going to fix this anyway.
They Are Already Taken
Okay, so this one sucks, but they might be ghosting you because they used you to cheat. They already have a partner and they had no intention of letting you know.
You slept together and for them you were just a good time. And you know what, having them ghost you might just be worth it. You don’t need that drama or the lies in your life anyway.
The Sex Wasn’t Amazing
That’s not to say you guys didn’t have a great time together, but sometimes the sex is not the mind-blowing experience we expect. Perhaps it just didn’t do it for them and they bounced because they didn’t want to discuss what happened. Or perhaps they didn’t give it their all and are embarrassed. Either way, the sex wasn’t all-around amazing.
Even if you did have a great time, it simply didn’t work for them. It’s not something wrong with you or them, and not everyone will have the kind of connection needed for the sex to be amazing.
They Didn’t Really Like You
Basically, this refers back to the earlier point of just wanting sex. In this case, they really aren’t that into you and just were with you for the sex. They didn’t care about you, what you like, or anything else. This was sex, plain and simple. While it may sound bad, it’s a truth we just have to accept sometimes.
Honestly, no matter why they are ghosting you after sex, it sucks. It doesn’t feel good to be ignored, and it does hurt our feelings. But hopefully having an idea of why they are doing it helps to give a sense of closure that allows you to move on.