Are you one of those people who doesn’t kiss a lot? Or maybe you have actually been told you are not a good kisser? Do you have insecurities about your kissing techniques? Then we are here to help.
Just like anything else you do, practice makes perfect and even if you are a kissing newbie, there are things you can do to improve your abilities. While kissing is an act of intimacy that many of us engage in, we also have to realize it is still a skill and it is one we can definitely improve on (with work of course).
Even if you have never been told you are bad at kissing, you might have an idea based on clues from previous encounters. Things like avoiding locking lips, breaking up after a first kiss (even though things seemed to be going great), never being kissed (which doesn’t necessarily mean you are bad), and even being told outright that you are just not good, are all big clues that maybe you need a little help in the swapping spit department.
Here’s the thing though, practice makes perfect is true, and the more you kiss the better you will get at it. But that doesn’t mean there are not some tips and tricks that can help you along the way. In fact, we think with a little help you can improve your abilities enough that you won’t have to worry about doubting yourself, or worrying that your partner won’t even want to kiss you after a wonderful night together.
Be Gentle
Kissing does not have to be a mashing of tongue, teeth, and lips. Instead, make it all about the build up. There is nothing wrong with a passionate kiss that is hardcore and all teeth and tongue, but the reality is that being gentle is a lot more likely to succeed and keep them coming back for more. Graze your lips together and make sure there is some pressure behind your lip lock. This is how you build tension and amp up the passion to make for a harder kiss over time.
Go Slow
Just like with being gentle, this is not a race to the finish line. Going slow is a way to make anticipation build. And at the same time it is a way to save yourself from an awful experience that will make you and your partner wish you never tried to go in for a locking of lips. Slow and steady wins the race, and there is nothing wrong with a slow and steady kiss. Keep things easy and simple, and steadily deepen the kiss and the passion. (Just remember don’t go at a snail’s pace because then you aren’t getting anywhere, instead think tortoise and the hare.)
Remember to Engage More Than Your Lips
Your entire body should be engaged in a kiss. Don’t just stand with your arms dangling uselessly beside you. Here is the thing, you want to make sure this is an intimate experience all around, and adding the sensation of touch is a great way to turn kissing from just okay to something even more. Whether you put your hands on their waist to draw your partner towards you, bring your hands up to their neck to keep them close, or any other way to make a connection, make sure that you are engaging in the kiss with other parts of your body beyond your lips.
Fresh Breath
This should be a no-brainer, but it is important to make sure when you are kissing, your breath is fresh. And while we all know that after dinner kisses happen, you still want to try to make sure that you are as fresh as possible. Mint or gum can be your best friend in a situation where you have been eating something particularly pungent (Hello Garlic!).
Don’t Overdo It With the Tongue
Okay so here is one of those situations where it can be tricky to figure out the whole tongue thing. But, while adding tongue to a kiss makes for an erotic and extra intimate moment, too much tongue is no fun. A little tongue is okay, too much tongue and we are talking a little too much spit swapping. It is also important to not go all in with the tongue before your partner is even comfortable, remember how we mentioned going slow – well that still applies even when tongue is in play.
Practice Makes Perfect
We have said this already, but practice makes perfect. The more you kiss, the better you will get at it. It is impossible to get your abilities up if you aren’t actually practicing the tips and tricks at your disposal. Practice, practice, practice. Try new things, see what works, and make sure you are both enjoying yourself.
There are plenty of ways to make your kissing experience better for both of you. And of course there are also ways to ramp up the excitement and passion (we recommend gentle lip biting to make for a more passionate kissing experience), but the reality is that the most important part of being a good kisser is to know your partner well and let your lips move naturally over your partner’s. This is not a battle or a war, it is all about living for the moment and the intimacy.