When it comes to our sex lives, there are some people who want to get a little freaky, and others who are looking for role play or BDSM. Then there are the people who like to keep things more vanilla or there are those of us who like to mix things up. Whatever your sexual preferences are, there is nothing wrong with liking what you like.
Sex is supposed to be fun and a way to connect with your partner. But there is nothing that says you can’t enjoy good old-fashioned vanilla sex. And while there is nothing wrong with getting your freak on, sometimes enjoying just relaxing sex is the best way to find an emotional connection with the one you love.
Over time, as other sexual activities have gained popularity and attention, it seems as if the idea of vanilla sex has become more of a curse than a joy. When was the last time anyone talked about “plain old vanilla sex” like it was a magical and amazing experience? It’s like going into the store for ice cream and turning your nose up at the vanilla (even though you actually like vanilla) in order to grab the chocolate chip cookie dough, just because everyone else is grabbing the cookie dough ice cream.
The thing is that no matter what kind of sex you enjoy, there is something about vanilla sex that is more than just boring and plain. Instead, it is actually a comfort for some of us. It’s one thing to want to break out the whips and cuffs on the weekend, but on a Monday or Wednesday night you may not be in the mood for anything elaborate. But perhaps you are in the mood? So, why not go for some vanilla sex?
Look at Vanilla Sex in a New Way
If you think about vanilla sex in a new light, you might find yourself choosing to go the vanilla route more often. Think about it as a more relaxing, less pressure, comfort activity, and you will find yourself realizing just how amazing it can be. There is no pressure to be anything more than what and who you are. You don’t have to break out the expensive lingerie, the costumes, or any other props, because this is all about you and your partner.
And can we just point out that one of the reasons that vanilla sex gets a bad reputation is due to the misconceptions surrounding it. This is not sex with all the lights off with a bit of grunting and thrusting, and then roll over because things are done. There is so much more to vanilla sex than all of that.
The reality is that the goal is not to be mediocre or even careless. Instead, vanilla sex is about more than just getting the job done, it is about a pleasurable encounter that offers satisfaction for both of you. It doesn’t have to be over quickly, nor does it have to be done in the dark.
Remember There are no Rules For Your Sex Life
There are no rules to the kind of sex you have and even in vanilla sex, you can mix things up to make it a bit spicier and more enjoyable. Even where you have sex (in the bedroom, on the couch, etc…) can have an impact on the overall experience, but it doesn’t change the fact that the sex itself is vanilla. Lighting candles beforehand is not going to change the sexual encounter into something kinky, but it will still add more depth to the moment and make it something special.
Even without adding in the freak factor, you can still have fun with your partner because that’s the point of sex. It’s fun, it’s relaxing, and it’s pleasurable. You are connecting with your partner and working towards an orgasm (for both of you), which is what makes vanilla sex just as worthy as any other bedroom fun.
So next time you are in the mood, think about engaging in some good old-fashioned sex without all the bells and whistles. Keep it simple and you might realize that it is just as much fun as any other sexual activities. And it may even make it into the regular rotation as a relaxing way to reconnect with your partner in the bedroom.