Whether you are new to being in a relationship or not, there are three major lessons to learn just in one year of being in a relationship, as well as everything else that may happen. You may not go through each of these lessons, but you should keep an eye out for the beginnings of them at least, especially if you never seem to last long in a relationship.
These lessons, such as expectations, stages of a relationship, and the direction of a relationship, may help you learn about what it is that you desire in a relationship, and how to go about getting there.
The first lesson is about expectations, and this is because high expectations may leave you feeling disappointed, whereas lower expectations may leave you feeling satisfied. The key is finding a balance between the two.
The second lesson is about knowing the stages within a relationship, from infatuation to love.
“Relationships, just like life, have their own stages. It starts off with infatuation and goes through several stages along the way.”
Believe it or not but the last stage of a relationship is a true understanding of the other person and knowing how to love them well.
Finally, the third lesson is knowing which direction your relationship is heading; is it heading towards a breakup or a makeup? It may take a year or several years to know that for sure. So what does happen within one year in a relationship?
The First Few Dates
One thing to always keep in mind during the initial attraction to another person is that you don’t want to rush it or force it, rather let it happen naturally. Whether you fall in love at first sight or not, it largely depends on an initial spark.
If you don’t know if you have that or not, try giving the other person a chance. The spark that may come at the beginning of the relationship will be your drive to want to not only discover more about the other person but to be a better person by being and doing more. The same should be said of the other person as well. This is a stage of infatuation because the chemicals in your brain are high on a feel-good chemical.
Everything may seem better than it really is when you are around the other person. You may feel as though the outside world doesn’t really exist, at least when you are with this special person. It seems as though you are on top of the world as if nothing can stand in your way. You may also have heightened sensual urges when you are with the other person, but you should wait to act on those urges until you have built a strong emotional connection with the other person, and a platform of trust and commitment unless there is a mutual agreement.
The First Few Months in Your Relationship
While still feeling infatuated by the other person, you may begin noticing their flaws. You did not notice them earlier because you were so focused on the good things about them. This is when the conflict in a relationship usually begins.
Many relationships end if the conflict cannot be overcome. If there was enough of a spark at the beginning of the relationship, the conflict that arises may be easier dealt with since you have a connection with the other person. You may have felt deceived because the other person did things that you once liked, but you begin to realize that they may have only done so to please you, hoping you would like them back. If not, then they must have been genuine, and those who are genuine are keepers.
It is important to keep in mind that in order for two people to come together in a relationship, there needs to be some common ground around which the relationship is built. However, it may take a year to know just what that is.
One Year into Your Relationship
If the relationship has successfully made it to one year, then congratulations! The first year in a relationship was really all about getting to know the other person and seeing if there are compatibility, common core values and life goals. You may have learned that respect, communication, honesty, and loyalty were the characteristic traits of the other person which made you come to love them. It’s also important if you get their sense of humor too. Now is the time to figure out how you really feel about the sum of the other person.
That means taking into consideration the good and bad things that make up the other person. This is because, after the first year in a relationship, you may have thoughts about the future, whether that is a future together or apart from the person you are in a relationship with. That can only be decided the longer you are together and the more experiences you enjoy together, and the conflicts you overcome together.
When your Relationship ends
The right relationship for you may start out like this, and if it doesn’t, being friends with the other person may be one step closer to finding that special someone. You don’t have to block the other person out of your life for fear of the relationship getting uncomfortably awkward. You may have been through a lot together, and sometimes those memories are worth holding onto after all, even if you were never lovers.
Ending a relationship out of hatred or jealousy of the other person may guarantee that you may bring those fears and thoughts into your next relationship.
So keep in mind that if it doesn’t work out due to fighting, try to make peace with the situation if not with the other person and move on. You may feel a heavy burden slide off your shoulders, rather than bringing that burden into your next relationship in the form of emotional baggage. The right person for you is always worth the wait.