Why do we go on dates? For most of us, the end result is a relationship and possibly marriage, a house, a dog… you know the rest. For a select few, they go on dates for something to do and for others, it’s for the sex, to put it bluntly.
But the thing is, you really shouldn’t have sex on the first date. And here’s why.
You Don’t Really Know Them
This could go a number of ways but if you are having sex on a first date, with very little exception, you don’t really know who you are having sex with. A one-night stand is ok, but things can go south (not in a good way) and fast. Plus, what it they have an STD or worse? What if they only love rough sex, and you don’t? You don’t know any of these things, or frankly anything else, if you don’t know who you’re sleeping with.
Sex is Lazy
Because it’s easy and fun but it really is the easy way out. You don’t need to put any effort into sex, well into the actual act of it, yes. But sex is easy. Getting to know someone, learning about what’s important to them, laughing with them, and spending time with them, now that takes work. But is that not the best part about being with someone new?
Sex is Addictive
Or it can be. If you love sex, then you know how addicting it can be. And you can easily be addicted to the high of sex. When you meet someone else, and you start off with sex, than naturally you want more sex. So now, instead of dates, time spent together, and learning more about your new ‘like,’ you spend all your time in the bedroom. Side note: this is a stage for most relationships anyhow so you don’t “miss out” on marathon sex if you wait, you just don’t start with it.
You Could Kill the Relationship, Before it Even Starts
Most relationships that start with sex end badly, and but that, I mean they never start. Why does this seem to happen? Well, even though we all love sex, a lot of us want a lot more than that. Plus, if you start the relationship off physically, it can be really hard to see past that. And by that I mean, sex can blind us. And good sex can make us defend bad behavior, excuse things we want in a partner, and more, because you want more of the sex. Also, if you start with sex and it’s really bad, for whatever reason, you could both decide against trying again.
It Can be Terrible
I know, I hear you. “But it can be great!” And yes, it can. Sex with someone new, attractive, fun, who makes you laugh, and gives you that, ” I want you” look, yes. Sex can be amazing the first time. But let’s be real. Most of the time, sex with someone new sucks. It’s awkward, fumbling, and not sexy. And do you really want to start out what could be a fun, new relationship with this? No. We want to start with laughter, fun dates, and cool adventures.
There are so many fun things to do, explore, learn, and find out about a new person. Plus, anticipation only makes the end result that much sweeter. Also, sex is almost always better for two people if they really care for each other and want to pursue a future.
So, if it’s a first date, hold off on going all the way. There is nothing better than having all the feelings before you explore all the (physical) feels.