Being in a relationship can get rough. We tend to get comfortable and take it for granted, which inevitably lets some of the romance and excitement die. The unfortunate reality is that romance and excitement tend to not just happen. After a certain amount of time together, you have to work to keep the magic alive in any relationship. I mean, let’s get real. The older we get, the more cynical we get and the more we are, frankly, a little nauseated by love.
Letting some of the romance die in a relationship is understandable and easy to do. You get comfortable and you stop putting in as much effort. It’s kind of a beautiful thing when you end up that comfortable because it’s so stress-free (hence the temptation to let it evolve into a rut). However, how long can you keep that comfort going before you end up in a rut? Only a few months from my experience.
Whether you’re new to a relationship or have been with your significant other for years, it’s always a good idea to keep dates (or, at least every other date) fresh, fun, and exciting. Check out these 4 tips to get out of your dating rut:
Realize that ANYTHING can be a date
What makes it a “date”? I mean, really? At some point it seems a tad insane to say that it’s only a date when two people get dressed up and go out to a nice restaurant (not that this isn’t important for all couples to do at least occasionally). Personally, I think it’s a date if you are spending quality time with the person that you’re romantically interested in. Ideally, a date includes getting closer and growing together in some way.
My personal favorite “date” is a simple walk in the park followed by getting coffee with my guy. Sure, it’s something we’ve always done so it’s a bit outdated to us (pun intended) and we could stand to mix it up more often. But we both enjoy being physically active outside and we both enjoy coffee – so it’s basically our ultimate bonding time. Plus, I won’t pretend I don’t like kissing him outside or getting excited together anytime we see a bunny or a squirrel.
I think that one of the secrets to staying out of a dating rut is realizing that dates don’t have to be elaborate to be special and enjoyable. The reality is that this idea could be why you’re in a rut – you’re putting way too much pressure on it!
Heck, a date can be as simple as doing your chores together. Come on, if friends can have “paint parties” when a room in their house needs painted, you and your significant other can do the same thing (get body paint for a sexy spin on it – you’re welcome *wink, wink*). Anything from getting ice cream, to decorating for the holidays can be a “date” if you’re spending quality time together and both enjoying yourself.
Make every other date something exciting
While not every date has to be exciting, you should still be striving for the occasional date that is simply thrilling and unforgettable. For example, my man and I have officially been together for ten years this year. So, understandably, it was time to up the “date ante” a bit. This year in between our traditional walk and coffee dates, we went to a haunted house (got to get that adrenaline pumping, am I right?) and we got couples tattoos. Way more thrilling than coffee and a walk!
The important thing is to remember to do things together that excite and maybe even scare you a little bit. Things like getting tattoos, sky diving, bungee jumping, going on nerve-wracking trips, or having sex in different locations can be just what your relationship needs to up the excitement and intimacy.
Exciting dates can be simpler too though. For example, maybe just park somewhere secluded and make out like a couple of teenagers or add some new lingerie to a night in.
Don’t be afraid to get a little cheesy
The longer you’ve been with your significant other, the less likely it is that you two will still be disgustingly romantic to the point of cheesy as hell like in the beginning of the relationship. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, since getting a little more practical and real with each other tends to build intimacy, but it can be a romance killer in the long-run.
In order to get out of a dating rut, you can’t be afraid to get a little cheesy. Bring her a single rose for no reason, tell him he’s got your “heart all a flutter” – heck, the cheesier the better! A lot of times romance dies because we get too caught up in the practicality of a life with our partner and forget that love isn’t practical. Love is a feeling that needs to be nurtured with a little romance, a little physical connection, and a little cheese (in my opinion, both literally and figuratively).
Bring them somewhere you enjoy
Think of something that you’ve really been wanting to try to do (or, something you already know you’d enjoy) and take your significant other along with you for a date. It’s important to always be finding hobbies and activities that the two of you can do together. Whether it’s dancing, a “paint night”, or taking them to the shooting range; it’s important to always be making your significant other feel included in your life.
Be cautious and courteous with this one, however, as you may not enjoy the same things. And, that’s okay, it’s also important to have your own separate lives anyway. This is a kind of last-ditch attempt at getting out of your dating rut anyway, as it has the most potential to back fire. It’s still never a bad idea to expose your significant other to the things that you enjoy. Plus, you never know, you may find out you have even more in common than you realized.