I’m just going to come right out and say it – romance is vital to a healthy relationship. It’s what makes us feel loved and appreciated. It’s what keeps that spark between you and your partner alive. I mean, no one wants a platonic love life. We want a passionate love life that makes us feel alive on a daily basis. Unfortunately, romance can be tough for some people.
The reality is that romance is a subjective thing and for those of us that require less of it than others, we just don’t always “get it”. But, there’s always hope for those of us who may be a bit romantically challenged. Even when you might get a little queasy from the thought of this gushy stuff, it’s important to always be trying when it comes to your significant other.
When it comes to romance, I’m the first one to admit that I don’t always understand the role that romance can play in life. I’ve had men make romantic gestures that simply went over my head and I’m generally the girl rolling her eyes at anything too gushy. But, I have realized that romance is necessary for a successful relationship, even for the anti-mushy people like myself. Even if I find it a bit nauseating sometimes, I need that romance to feel connected to my partner both emotionally and sexually (yeah, I’m going to say it – romance is critical to a good sex life, especially long-term).
Romance is a very personal thing. Some of us need more gushy stuff than others. Some need a mixture of gushy and direct. There is no one size fits all romantic gesture. Everyone is a little different so you’re going to have to tailor your romantic gestures to fit the needs and preferences of your special someone. There are, however, some relatively universal truths when it comes to romance. The best romantic gestures are often the little things that simply make us feel loved and appreciated (and let’s be honest – probably just a little turned on *wink, wink*).
If you need a little help in the romance department, check out these 5 romantic gestures to spruce up your love life:
Surprise them with a night out (just the two of you) doing what they would want
Pay attention to events your partner may mention they want to attend. Maybe it’s a concert, a comedy show, a movie, just doing a craft night, or going dancing? Pick the thing that sounds the most bearable to you and get some tickets. Let’s be real – you may not be totally psyched to attend every event your partner wants to attend (and you don’t have to) but getting your lover tickets and making time for the things they enjoy can be the ultimate romantic gesture.
Relationships and romance take compromise, make the first move. You may just be pleasantly surprised.
Show up with their favorite food
Whether it’s showing up on their lunch break with their favorite sub sandwich or surprising them by making their favorite dessert, let your partner know that you’re thinking about them throughout the day and that you care that their sweet desires are being attended to *wink, wink*.
Plan something exciting (or at least different)
This is especially important in long-term relationships, but it’s always important to make sure your relationship is fun and exciting (or at least full of variety). It’s important to remind your partner that you can take the lead and be spontaneous and fun. Whether it’s sex in a new location (or a different position you think they’d like to try) or a new exciting activity (rock climbing, sky diving, haunted houses, getting secret tattoos, etc.), it’s important to always be trying different things together. Couples tend to get comfortable, which is great, but you want to avoid the rut that can follow getting “too comfortable”. Make sure your partner knows how willing you are to keep the spark alive. There’s not a lot more romantic than that!
Mockery is the highest form of flattery
Pay attention to the little things your partner does that are their way of showing romantic affection for you. Maybe they gently bite their lip when they make fun of you to be playful? Maybe they send you random texts throughout the week to check in? Sometimes we do things we think the other person would want because really, it’s something we would appreciate. Take time to notice the nice things your partner makes a habit of doing for you and try doing the same (I bet they’ll appreciate it).
It’s the little things
Sometimes something super small and simple can make your partners day. Bringing them coffee or their favorite candy, a surprise kiss (or another sexual act – don’t get lazy), a single flower, a shoulder rub without being asked, etc. It’s all about paying attention to their needs and doing small things to help them out. Encourage them when it’s needed, give them physical affection (not only when it’s needed), and make sure they feel loved and taken care of. Personally, I’ve found that hand written little notes hidden in my partner’s things (lunch, jacket, car, etc.) make him feel loved and supported (remember, sometimes just a text is too easy).