When it comes to relationships, there is no real right or wrong way to be with someone. Perhaps the only rule that everyone should follow is to be honest with each other because that is how relationships prosper and flourish, rather than fall apart and crumble.
While there may not be a set of rules that dictate your relationship, it is truly important to talk to your partner, especially when it comes to drastic decisions that affect both of you. One of those decisions might be when you realize that you no longer feel like monogamy is right for you. This is when it is important to follow some advice and find a way to redefine your relationship, especially if this is something that neither of you has ever considered before.
Although going from a monogamous relationship to an open or polyamorous one might be difficult and challenging, if you follow some of the advice we have pulled together for you, you may find that it really is possible to open up your relationship.
Be Honest
As I mentioned before, honesty is important in any relationship, but when it comes to opening up your relationship, being honest is especially critical. Your primary partner is the person who has been with you from the start and they deserve your honesty. Whether you are talking about your feelings or the things you are doing with someone else, being open and communicating with your partner is critical to keeping your primary relationship going strong.
Remember Your Partner’s Feelings
Although you may have agreed as a couple to open up your relationship, it is still important to think about your partner’s feelings. Take into consideration how they feel and make sure you are not hurting them with your actions or needs. Pay attention to more than just what they say, but also their actions and reactions to things that are changing within your relationship.
Remember That Whoever You Bring in to Your Relationship Has Feelings Too
While it is important to take into account your partner’s feelings, it is also important to think about the new people coming into your lives. They don’t want to be hurt either, and it is important to think about how they feel when you do things that can have an impact on their life as well. Just because they are not your primary partner, does not mean they don’t care about you. Feelings develop in relationships, and now you have more people to consider when you do things. They may be new to your life and relationship, but they deserve to have their thoughts and feelings considered just as much as your own and your primary partner’s.
Do Your Research
This might seem weird, but it is important to do your research when it comes to changing your relationship. You should know about the terms that people use when it comes to polyamory and open relationships. You should know what the difference is between these two types of relationships, as well as what it means to be a swinger.
Sure you might think you have all of the answers, but when you are going from a monogamous relationship to an open one (of any kind), it can be amazing to realize exactly what you don’t know.
Don’t Rush Into Things
You have been monogamous this long, there is no need to rush into anything now. The last thing you want to do is rush into something and get hurt or have your partner get hurt. You are not alone in this relationship journey, and that means you shouldn’t be trying to rush the process.
It could take a while to get used to the idea of more people in your relationship, and at the same time, you may not be sure of what you are even looking for. Take your time and remember to breathe. The perfect addition to your life is out there, you just need to have patience and find them.
Talk About Everything
This might get annoying at times but it is extremely important to talk about everything. Not only do you need to discuss boundaries and expectations, but you should also be talking about what you see when you think about the perfect relationship for you. You may be opening up your relationship, but that does not mean this decision is a one-size-fits-all. Your version of open or poly could be different from someone else’s. Talking is the only way you will be able to truly figure out what you want and what you need.
Relationships are tricky and while there is no right way to have one, it is important to remember that honesty and openness are the best way to find happiness. Even when you open up your monogamous relationship, you are still in a partnership with someone and they deserve to be on the same page as you are. Think about what you both want and need, and then find a way to make it happen for both of you.
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