At the tender age of 25, it is saddening to know that most youth nowadays has been through seven frustrating relationships which needless to say have ended in heartbreaks. The trend does not change until marriage, which is in many cases not a happy fairy tale. Jilted lovers committing suicide, homicides, violent abusive relationships, and cheating have become common lately. Where did we lose track on dating?
Many parents have neglected their role to discuss these matters with their kids. They often just assume they will turn out just fine. Besides, they did it without that much guidance. Not that our parents did not raise us well, but we need to appreciate that things have changed.
What then is Responsible Dating?
There generally isn’t a widely acclaimed meaning for this. It could be used to refer to an intimate or romantic relationship between two people in which none disregards the other’s needs or preferences.
How to Date Responsibly
Communication
This is the basis of any good relationship. Be open with each other and don’t be afraid to communicate to your partner about how you feel. There is nothing as difficult as having to put up with someone with whom you can’t be open.
Know your deal breakers
These are things that you are not willing to compromise whatsoever. For instance, if you know that people who smoke are a total turn-off for you, then you don’t have to change that for anyone. Chances are you might end up clashing over the same sometime later.
Maintain honesty
A relationship built on lies will not live through the test of time. Whatever skeletons you have in your closet be sure to talk it out with your significant other.
Pay attention to red flags
You don’t want to be in a relationship alone. Look out for subtle hints. Sometimes your partner may not expressly say it, but by way of actions, they are not interested in that relationship.
Self-consciousness
Know yourself and be yourself. Do not change just to impress someone. If they really love you, then they should be comfortable dating the real you.
Be open
Sometimes we lose out on the good things in life simply for being too rigid to new ideas. For instance, you might have it in you that all short men are cheaters or that people older than you by say four-five years are a no-no. Remember dating is like an adventure and confining yourself to a certain spot will be of no good. Besides, there is no harm trying something new.
Boundaries
It is crucial to set some limits. However, don’t be too rigid or impose unreasonable limitations.
Be the person you’d want to date
We attract who we are. If you want your date to be neat, be equally neat. Don’t set standards that are too high for you.
Ditch the bucket list
Does he have to take you to a high-end restaurant for you two to date? Or do you certain favors? The answer is an unequivocally NO. Dating is not some test. It should be a natural attraction.
The Benefits of Responsible Dating
a) Connection. Don’t you just desire to have that one person with whom you connect deeply? It would be futile to be in a relationship where you’re both merely tolerating each other.
b) No more heartbreaks. You might have been heartbroken through and through in the past, but if you engage in responsible dating, this should occur less often.
c) Healthy relationships. This will only spring up if founded on responsible dating. Chances of the relationship lasting are also very high.
The Bottom Line
That there exists perfect relationship is nothing but a fallacy. Identify your flaws and work on them together as a couple without one scorning the other. If dating has not been a good story for you, it is time to write a new one altogether.
Do not give up just yet whatever frustrations you go through. However, don’t try so hard that you lose yourself in the idea of making things work. Efforts should be made by both of you. And remember, before you get into that perfect relationship with your soul mate, be in a perfect relationship with yourself first.
Image credit: Pexels.com/