The dating scene is full of its difficulties these days. From meeting people to avoiding creeps, there’s an endless number of landmines for us to avoid as we traverse the dating sphere. It seems as if every time one problem is solved another one arises.
Not this year though. This year we are going to make dating resolutions that turn around our romantic lives. We are going to make dating resolutions that will bring us happiness. Dating resolutions that will bring us successful dates!
The First Step to Good Dating Is Good Communication
Okay, maybe the first step is meeting someone, but we will get to that in a second. The truth is if you don’t first spend some time with yourself learning the answer to these important questions, it will be difficult to discuss them with others. So before you set off on your first day of the New Year spend some time getting your communication skills on lock.
STARS is an excellent resource for learning the critical questions to ask yourself and those you’re interested in. If you’re more of a visual learner check out the TedTalk. Whatever you do make it your dating resolution to be able to discuss your turn-ons, the things you’d rather avoided, relationship intentions, and safe sex plans. It might be awkward at first, as lots of dating firsts are. But you’ll be surprised how much better your dating life goes when you get these essential questions out-of-the-way in the beginning.
Do The Things You Love to Meet Someone You Could Love
I’m not saying that dating apps don’t have their place in the dating world. In fact, I have some sage advice on the subject for guys that aren’t getting traction on their profiles. But for this year’s dating resolution let’s try getting out of the house to meet some people too!
Going out and doing the things you love will lead to meeting like-minded people. I know that we don’t all have obvious hobbies like painting or rock-climbing, but there are things that you love to do. And guess what? Chances are there’s a MeetUp for that activity. So even if you just want to read for a while, check out a reading group MeetUp. No pressure to talk one on one with a person an algorithm said you’d have things in common with. Just casually drop by a MeetUp and see if anything clicks.
Forget That List!
Now don’t get me wrong, I know how easy it is after a breakup to add to ever-growing list of unacceptable traits in a potential mate. But there’s a fundamental problem with this—you’re missing out on a lot of people. The reality is just because one hipster burned you doesn’t mean the next will. Or that all guys with ironic mustaches should be ignored. Though, I might have other words to say on that…
Really though, make it this year’s dating goal to open yourself back up. The worst thing bad dating experiences do to us is, make us close our eyes to new experiences. So throw out that list of requirements. Ignore the absolute nos. The only absolutes should be a mutual form of respect. That and a willingness to openly communicate. The second one can take more time so be patient but watchful.
Remember You’re Always the Best Date Available
I’m not saying you’re the best option out there. You are, you’re a gorgeous, smart, kind human being who deserves the best. That’s just not the point of this dating resolution. At least not entirely.
What I am saying is go out on dates with yourself. One of the best things I’ve ever done is start taking myself out on my own adventures. I don’t like going to the movies alone because there’s no one talk to (and ruin the movie for). So don’t worry if the first date you take yourself out on is a bust. Keep doing it. You will find a sense of independent empowerment that will serve you in the dating world.
When you date yourself, you don’t have to accept a lousy date. You don’t have to wait for someone to take you to the places you want to go. Dating yourself means that you are in power and control. Best of all, you’re right there to let know when you’re ready to start dating other people! You know so there won’t be any hard feelings when you find someone else.