In the history the two things were well-known to everyone:
- If you want to be respected, you need to make your enemies scared of you and fight as long as you can, not hesitating because the sky is the limit.
- If you’re a woman, the first rule has nothing to do with you.
Ironically or not, the jobs were rigorously divided. For the young lady, there wasn’t enough and proper space on the battlefield the same way as for the warrior wasn’t space in the kitchen.
From the very second, we started to reproduce, it was evident that if everyone does everything- nothing would be done and the only thing which can be reached was a maximum number of fights.
Just said- our physical appearances are different and while some bodies are built for some job- the others are not.
The biggest enigma is the divided thinking. The women are fighting for the equality, but still want to be protected, still want someone to be gentle with them.
Because a woman’s body is tinier and less strong than a male one.
Which equality are we talking about then?
The working one.
Today, we’re not hunting our prey if we want to eat; we’re not killing someone just if we think that’s right or we only want.
Law and justice are the important things which promise us the equality if someone damaged us in any way.
But if we put those examples aside and focus on what’s happening in the life of every woman- we can say that at least one thing we all have in common- the big old ‘cooking.’
In the history, the only job woman had was to cook and take care of the children, or just to take care to be more beautiful to please her man.
Making objects of ourselves as a first step of having the problem we created on our own. Now, as the technology is everywhere around us and we’re more ‘civilized’- the need for the strict division should disappear.
But what ‘should’ and what ‘is’ aren’t always the synonyms, are they?
When we found out that in our bellies are a little girl- what do we do first? We went shopping and fill the whole baby’s room with pink stuff. Pink blankets, pink pillows, pink clothes.
And when the baby is a boy- we did the same, just change the color. Instead of the pink, we use blue.
After that, when our baby grew up a little bit- we went shopping on purpose again- but this time, what do we buy?
A doll for our princess and a little reconstruction of the kitchen- learning our daughter from the youngest age that she should take care of the babies and cook.
Instead of her, our little hero get little warrior toys, which have the same message- he is here to protect, he is the one to take care of the others because the strength is in him.
The cartoons our children watch- don’t you see what is on them and what we allow our children to see with their little eyes?
Women are perfect; they need to be saved by a hero who can defeat everyone and never cries because that’s not his job.
How can someone break those chains when they were put on his or her ankles and hands the very second he or she was born?
From a radical point of view, as long as the desire for change is in our hearts, there is a significant possibility that we can reduce the damage.
But, as with everything in our lives, both sides need to cooperate.
Some men were raised rigorously, some of them weren’t- so there is always the difference.
But the biggest thing you should ask yourselves, my dear ladies, is, do you even want not to be considered as someone who should cook?
A lot of chefs are men- that is the biggest proof that we can choose on our own what would we do with our lives.
But at the same time, there are a lot of women who are talking bad about the gender roles but can’t imagine doing different or living in any other way than the one they already live in.
Some people only love their chains, even though they don’t want to say that out loud.
The point is those gender roles are all around us and will be all around us as long as we allow them to affect us.
Like the every other change, overnight nothing would disappear, but slowly, step by step- something might get different.
Now, if you ask a common man to describe his perfect woman, you would get different answers from the different men.
The differences are shown in the different aspects of the life- let’s look at a few of them.
Tell me now, what should you do when you’re at home every day? Yes, you’d go out, go shopping, watch series or talk with your friends.
But you won’t just be lazy the whole day, not because of the way you were raised (although that depends too)- because you don’t want to wait for your husband from work and serve him just a smile when you know how hard he works to afford a lot of things.
So both scenarios can happen, and cooking doesn’t need to be an obligation or duty- cooking can just be your way to show someone that you love him.
But if we focus on the less educated men- they would either say that women should cook, because they can still feel like they’re the head of the family/ they are working harder jobs, the physical ones, for a less money, so when they came tired home, they just need a meal, or they can work and parallel help you in the kitchen, if you’re working too and are sick of the everyday activities.
So, what is the conclusion?
The conclusion is simple. No matter how educated your man is, what is important is which person is hiding inside that body.
If he wants you to work- he would see his every woman in the kitchen.
Now, some studies say that people who are raised with one parent are a lot of different than the ones who were raised with a both of them.
If we focus on the men who were raised only by their mothers- it’s obvious that they were taught how to help her, how to cook or do some of the everyday jobs or they can be just letting those things like cooking to their mothers, not caring about that at all.
Let’s focus on the men who were raised only by their fathers- maybe their father was the one who cooks, maybe he had someone to do that (pay someone, and the job is done).
So men raised like that should either help their wives in the kitchen or just behave like everything is as it should be, yay for the gender roles.
The same story is for the men who were raised with both parents- they decide which path they would like to follow.
Now- what if the men were raised more conservatively? Yes, of course, that they would expect of their woman to be like them- but where did you hear that the same people end up together?
Our differences are the thing which connects us the most, which connects us with the strongest bonds. So when our conservative man meets a love of his life who doesn’t want to be caged, what do you think that he’d do?
He’d change. Or she’d change. In the end- someone would need.
The same story is they were raised more radically. If his wife doesn’t approve his behavior either, he will change, or she would change.
Don’t you get it how the whole story is pure?
Yes, the primary socialization is important- that can put a lot of information in our little heads- but that doesn’t need to be the final product.
Were our parents more radical or conservative, where we raised like we should be, or there were some mistakes- all of that doesn’t matter- if you, dear man, wants to respect your woman like she deserves to.
Put those chains aside, put everything someone told you that you should follow aside- because you are the man on your own, you will be a father, husband, brother, grandfather- would you let someone choose your path?
No. If you don’t let someone choose your job, your taste, your life- then don’t let anyone choose what person you will be when all the freedom is in your hands.
Be the man you want your daughter to date; be the person you want your father to be; be the man you’d be proud to be.
Why? Because you can.
Because your wife is your princess, so treat her like that.
Because she’d give you one day the biggest present you can ever imagine of.
Do you want your children’s mother to be the same woman she’d be if you lived a few centuries ago?
No, you don’t want that.
Technology isn’t the real evidence that we’re in the future- but our behavior is- so let that go.
Let everything which is on your way to becoming a better man go.
Primal- don’t be like that when around you are the joys of the twenty-first century.
Now, my dear ladies, if you expect a prince on the white horse, then return to your fairy tale because, in real life, that’s not how the things functioned.
If you want your man to change- ask him, show him, tell him.
You have your voice; you have your freedom- use it.
Use everything you have- because in front of you is the man you love.
The same as he needs to fight for you, you need to show him how you need to help him be the person you would like to love.
But don’t forget- just asking for things isn’t the best way to make your relationship better, to improve it.
If he is willing to help you in the kitchen, you should do something pretty for him too.
Would that be watching football with him or playing the video games or making his favorite meal when he’s tired- that’s entirely left to your imagination.
As long as he is ready to cooperate, you should be too.
And just then- when you both are trying to become a better person for your significant other- just then the future for you two is bright, and there is enough space for trust, understanding and the biggest of all- love.
Cooking won’t be the boring topic then; food won’t be considered as something which put chains on you- because the chains will all be broken because you’re free to be the man or woman you want and desire to be.