Dating is hard and it can be even more complicated when you’re a trans person. Trans people who are dating have to navigate a lot of challenges, but finding love is possible. In fact, these transgender individuals have some thoughts on it and what it is like for them.
You Don’t Have to Reveal You’re Trans Right Away
Since trans women’s safety are often at risk because of transphobia, some are reluctant to share their gender identity. Hannah reveals that she’s trans when she feels comfortable with her dates.
"When I’m meeting the person, I believe it’s about my time and my feeling this person out. I pay attention to what they know, what they’re willing to learn, and what kinds of questions they ask me immediately. If I don’t think they’re worth my time, then that’s fine. I have plenty of other people who want to date me,” said Hannah.
You Don’t Have to Settle for Anyone
Many trans people feel hopeless on the dating scene because of rejection from transphobic people. They can also feel used because they can date people who only want to date trans people and fetishize them. As a result, they may just settle for any person who shows interest.
Jay Maddock, a trans male activist, gave advice to trans people looking for love that feel discouraged. "You deserve better than to settle. You aren’t dust, you don’t need to settle, you’re a phoenix that rose from the ashes — or some other inspiring metaphor", said Maddock.
"Listen, my point is that you’re bound to have some terrible dates, some mediocre dates and some incredible dates. Be like Goldie Locks, search and find the just right, don’t take the too hot and too cold porridge just because it’s available," added Maddock.
Celebrate Your Unique Identity
Billie Lee, a star of the Bravo reality show, Vanderpump Rules, shares how she navigates the world of dating as a trans woman.
"Trans people are very powerful, because we’ve experienced a lot and we’ve been through a lot. When you come from a dark place and you rise up, you have this power and this light behind you and people are attracted to it. I’ve noticed that cis people are very attracted to me and my trans sisters and brothers. It’s just that they get to a point where they’re scared. My advice for them is, don’t live in fear, live in love," said Billie Lee.
Billie Lee added that trans people need to be proud of their identities when they’re dating to make the world better for transgender people. "We don’t make change by hiding and not telling the truth. I know society says it’s wrong to find trans people attractive, but it’s time we stand up. We need people who are in love with trans people and are attracted to trans people to speak out instead of hiding in a hotel room or paying for sex. Because I’m not at a place in my life where I can be a secret anymore."
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