Reasons Why Coffee Is Better Than a Man

If you’re a coffee lover, you’ve come to the right place. As you (hopefully) love your man, you know sometimes they can get on your nerves. Here are some funny reasons why coffee can sometimes be better than a man:

Coffee isn’t Moody

Coffee doesn’t ever wake up on the wrong side of the bed. It’s always *so* wonderful (sarcasm intended) to wake up to your significant other and have them nearly bite your head off because they’re in a mood. Coffee won’t do that. It won’t even talk back. You can sit in peace, relaxing, sipping your coffee. It’ll do nothing but improve your mood.

Coffee Will Settle for Cuddles

You know those nights where you really just want to cuddle on the couch? Where you just want to watch Netflix and snuggle up with bae without being poked a few minutes into the movie. Yeah, that can be annoying as much as it can be fun. But fret no more, because coffee isn’t gonna play those games. It’ll keep your hands warm as you cradle your mug and take an occasional sip, and snuggle up with your blanket.

Coffee Doesn’t Cheat

Have you ever seen the coffee meme about how coffee doesn’t wake up with another woman? Yeah, that spoke to me on a spiritual level. But it rings true. You brew your own coffee, or you order it. You constantly know where your coffee is (unless you’re like me and set your mug down in random places and forget about it). You don’t have the constant urge to check your coffee’s Snapchat location, or wondering if it’s exploring other mugs. You don’t have to worry about it coming home on time, or acting shady. Your coffee is 100 percent loyal to you and you only, unless you decide to share it.

It Comes In All Shapes and Sizes

A cup at home, with some cream and sugar. A venti white chocolate mocha. A grande caramel latte. Lots of Foam. No foam. Extra cream and sugar. No milk. Soy milk. Add some ice. You can spice it up however you want, and try something new, because your favorite will always be there for you when you want it, and won’t get jealous when you stray away.

There’s Never a Fight

It’s not going to say anything wrong or snap at you. It won’t get mad over anything you say to it, or do to it. It stays silent and just listens to you complain about everything in your life. It’s not going to judge you for anything. Just make sure your boyfriend doesn’t hear you complaining about him to your quiet mug… it can’t defend you.

Just Remember…

Whether you’re in this for the laugh, or you really love coffee, there are some perks to having a man in your life. That’s because men can do all of the things that coffee can’t. For instance, they’ll listen to you vent about your bad day at work, and wrap their arms around you and comfort you. They’ll keep you warm late at night where coffee will keep you up. And while men can be a pain, there’s something about them that you can’t help but love.