A happy couple resonates a healthy radiance. The joy in their eyes is infectious. How can they argue and not fight? Wouldn’t you wish to have the same for your relationship?
Maintaining a happy relationship is an intentional step that both partners agree to (it can never work one-sided). Having the same interests and hobbies, being financially stable, or having children is only the foundation. The same common grounds can also be the source of tension. So what is so unique about a happy couple?
Happy couples have mastered the art of listening twice as much as they talk. They know how unique they are individually and they make their differences work in synergy through proper communication. Sometimes a simple argument about which plate to use for dinner can blow out of proportion, and you find yourselves blaming each other on why he has never introduced you to his parents. Was the fight about a plate or a past in-laws introduction resentment? That’s how most fights start.
So, how can you communicate better with your spouse:
- There is no absolute wrong or right in an argument – be diplomatic.
- Never approach a common problem with a fixed perception of how to solve it. If you do this, you miss the chance of getting a solution as you sieve all the possibilities through your narrow understanding. Couples who fight over minor issues are usually victims of cross-talk.
- Make eye contact. Though simple, many couples find it hard to do this.
- Never pile unresolved issues. Wishing away problems does not solve them. They are bound to creep back in when you least expect. Happy couples know they can to agree to disagree. If you can’t resolve an issue, you choose your relationship over it and move on.
- Talk about your intimacy before you get intimate – let your partner know what would satisfy you and what would put you off.
They Are Realistic
Learn to accept the realities of life that every partner comes as a package. If you expect your partner to be driving the sales in your joint business, look after your young family, know how to troubleshoot around the house, and still maintain her great physique, you might be setting your expectations too high.
Learn to accept each other’s flaws and instead use your strengths to achieve more in your careers and lifestyle. The sooner you move from being infatuated with one another to being in love with one another, the happier you will be in your relationship.
They Spend Quality Time Together
A happy couple knows the importance of prioritizing their relationship above everything else. Being physically present, especially in this age of social media, does not guarantee that you are spending quality time with your partner. Make a deliberate effort to eat out together, go cycling, watch a movie, or visit the elderly home and donate clothes. Switch off your gadgets when you are on a picnic together. Never make excuses for not being available to your partner. If you are in a long distance relationship, use the social media platforms to discuss all the daily challenges you face and bridge the physical distance between you.
They Work Hard
Yes. Happy relationships are a result of hard work. If you approach the issues that face you in your relationship as if it was your day job, your way of solving issues changes. Conflicts will arise. Have a plan on how you want to address them. Your partner is a different person from you, invest your time in understanding what makes him/her tick.
Failing sometimes is okay. Let your past mistakes draw you closer instead of apart. Financial strain has always brought conflict in relationships. Work on saving together for that dream car, house or holiday you’ve always wanted.
They Are Considerate
A considerate partner will always visualize himself/herself in their partner’s shoes before criticizing his/her actions. When you show compassion towards your partner, they feel valued and respected. Hence they end up submitting instead of just obeying everything you want.
Encourage your partner. Praise him/her for milestones achieved, no matter how small they look. Let your partner know that you do not mind his snoring at night and that you support him/her in his weight loss journey.
Let me make something clear. Every couple fights (at least all that I know). However, the difference is in the type of battles they engage in and how they solve them. Purpose to be happy and enjoy each day together, you can never reclaim the days you waste being unhappy.