Marriage is quite an elusive topic. Many books have been written but still no one seems to have accurately come around the whole thing in a way that can be termed as comprehensive. Most couples are lost in the idea of a perfect marriage. Instead of ameliorating they end up doing the opposite unconsciously. Others choose to ignore matters at hand. The result is a broken marriage in which one or both of the partners suffer in silence.
You should, however, know upfront that there is no such thing as a perfect marriage: At least not as far as I know. There is no relationship that is similar to another. Thus in effect, you cannot gauge your marriage based on another couple’s marriage. We all relate differently and that is an irrefutable fact. To compare your marriage with another’s would not only be misplaced but also unfair. So how then do you ensure that your marriage is healthy and on the right track?
Date Night Special
It doesn’t matter whether you have been married for a year, a month, or a decade. This is a tradition that has proven to sparkle the flames of love. Get time alone and take your spouse out on a date. Do not let work or the kids distract you into igniting the romance.
Be Happy Yourself
It is illogical to think that you can be in a happy marriage if you are not happy yourself. Try to set the mood right by being jovial. But then again, don’t fake it.
Now most of you will argue that it’s the women who are poor at listening. There’s more to listening than just the ears. Listen with your actions too. For instance, if your partner doesn’t like it when you’re always home late from work, try coming earlier.
A marriage will most certainly fail if there is poor communication between the couple. How free are you with each other? Do you openly resolve issues facing you in a mature and respectful manner?
Before you got into that marriage, I’d like to think that you went through a courtship period in which the two of you got to know each other. It is then futile to try and change your partner and mold them into someone they are not. You don’t want to come out as a control freak.
Honesty and Trust
These pillars are paramount in any relationship. Are you the type that goes through your partner’s phone when they are not around? Suspicions tend to build up insecurity. And in the long run, the aftermath is a once happy marriage crumbling down.
Whatever You Do, Don’t Take Each Other For Granted
You may have legally sealed your matrimony but by no default should you feel entitled. Make your partner feel special. Go out of your way and surprise them with gifts or even compliments.
This is a problem that most old couples are struggling with and they seem to be losing. So what if you already have kids? Is that the primary objective of marriage? Child- bearing? Or is your schedule so tight that you can’t spare some time for affection with your betrothed? There should be no excuse here. Work out a suitable time for this when you are both in the mood. But remember, don’t force your spouse into love when they are simply not in the mood for it.
This is defined by both your actions and emotions. Men are visual creatures, but this is no excuse for you to glance at other ladies when you are with your loved one. Additionally, faithfulness should apply even when you are left alone.
Set boundaries between your marriage and your extended family. You should realize that you are married to your wife not your mother. Tendencies of the mother-in-law moving in to keep your wife in check should cease. Not that you should completely cut off relations with your extended family, but keep a clear line.
A couple that spares time to heal burnt bridges and bond together will no doubt live through the tests of time. The challenges that exist in marriage are not to draw us apart but to bring us even closer. I will keep emphasizing this; there is no perfect marriage, only two people who are willing to see through their imperfections.