On season one episode 6 of the critically acclaimed HBO hit series Insecure, we see Molly Carter, a confident, goal setting, and career-driven professional lawyer a tad out of her element as she flips through Chrissy Teigan’s newest cookbook.
She’s looking over a delectable recipe that is sure to please her new boo, Jared. Though the relationship between Molly and Jared is far from defined or even stable a “situation-ship,” he agrees to a date and dines at her home.
Molly completes and serves the meal to perfection, and the two feast scrumptiously while enjoying each other’s company.
However, in the name of all things awkward, a session of truth and questioning leads to a confession that is a way too much for Molly to handle.
Now the date is awry, and both parties are left to sit and munch in silence until the scene transitions. Luckily, for the at-home viewers, scene progression is demanded to sustain a plot.
However, if this were to occur in reality, then the tension and awkwardness more than likely would have outlasted the salad and lamb chops.
This scene provides two key mishaps that can prove detrimental for in-house dates. The first mistake is the fact that Molly went all out for this meal.
Now, there is absolutely nothing wrong with cooking for your date. I’m sure, like me, you have heard the proverb, “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”
I can also vouch that a man cooking for a woman is an admirable turn on as well. However, the key to cooking a meal you intend to serve, especially to someone you are aiming to impress, is expertise and confidence.
As confident as Molly is, can you imagine how embarrassing it would have been if the meal was too far out of her culinary range and turned out or tasted horribly?
It is commendable and courageous when one is ready to level up on their choice and handle of cuisine.
Nevertheless, a date is entirely not appropriate for hopeful attempts.
Even if you called your Aunt Thelma, who is known in the family as the best baker this side of the Mason Dixie, and asked her for her “Get The Guy” killer recipe, beware that even with step-by-step instruction, your novice can prove to be intimidating.
Now, taking into consideration that adult palates have evolved beyond level 4 jar baby food, I understand not wanting to serve cucumber sandwiches or simple spaghetti and meat sauce to adult.
Still, it’s safe to cook something you already know you’re good at and add accouterments to spice up the table setting and complete the meal. If all else fails, you can always fill up the wine glass, no?
The second error committed was having an intimate meal within a superficial relationship. For sure, cooking in your kitchen places you in a familiar and genuinely acquainted comfort zone, and atmospheres of this sentiment are dearly cherished.
For this reason, you should be entirely sure and secure in whomever you invite into this space. Though Molly is the host and owner of the home, once the confession leads her to become uncomfortable, she’s trapped in her space of retreat, and the awkwardness is left to consume her usual escape route.
An additional mishap of the second scenario is that in inviting someone to your home for a meal, you are implying the want of a more profound relationship.
I stated that Jared and Molly were in a “situation-ship,” which is just a new age term that translates to “friends” with benefit, and even then, I use the title “friend” very loosely.
Had Molly simply ordered Thai food and bought a 6-pack of bougie beer, the uncomfortableness still would’ve occurred, however, the disappointment of another failed romance wouldn’t be staring her in the face in the form of used dishes, lamb chop bones, and Chrissy Teigen.
Comfort zones, in any relationship, are critical to their survival. Even the most secure relationship can fall out of bounds if one party overextends their hand or miscommunicates their intention.
Until it’s necessary to evolve, don’t try and fix what’s not broken. Besides, dating in 2017 already has enough baggage of its own to add on to it!
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