Much like in fashion, there are trends that come and go when it comes to dating. In 2017, there have been a number of new trends that have had an effect on the dating world. While being single is not the worst thing that can happen to a person by far, it can be hard to get back into the swing of dating, especially if you have been out of the “game” for a while. Getting used to what seems to be the new way people date can be tricky at first unless you have an idea what to look out for.
When it comes to the latest trends in dating, some of them can be less than positive experiences. However, that does not mean that dating as a whole is not a fun and flirty time. This is a chance to meet new people, make connections, and hopefully, find someone you want to spend your time with.
There are a number of trends that have popped up in dating over the last few years as social media and online dating has become the way people connect and meet each other. While this is certainly not a definitive list of all the many trends that come and go, this list might help to guide you when it comes to dealing with being kittenfished or even being ghosted.
1. Cushioning – Also known as Layby or Breadcrumbing
This trend is a lot like the idea of shopping using layaway. Think about it as setting the groundwork for possibly dating long term after having possibly gone on a date with someone but nothing coming of it the first time around.
When it comes to cushioning, the person may have gone on a few dates that went nowhere, then after a few months of silence, most likely because they found someone else they were dating, that person reaches out to you in order to reconnect.
This is a practice that is typically used by people who are not comfortable being alone and you are essentially their layaway, waiting in the wings to be picked back up after some time apart if things fall apart with the person they are most likely still seeing.
2. Slow Fading
Most people who have used online dating and dating apps are familiar with ghosting. Slow fading is a lot like ghosting, but it is a more gradual approach to this disappearing act. Even if things have been going well for you and the person you are dating, you may suddenly find yourself with someone who is slowly backing off from you.
This could happen because things suddenly seemed to be moving too fast or they feel pressured in some way, it could even happen simply because they realize that they are just not that into you. Rather than tell you how they are feeling, this person will instead “fade” their way out of your life until you get to a point where they are not even answering texts or social media messages.
You’ve gone on a few dates with someone and while the dates were good, you suddenly find yourself with someone you can’t seem to see again. The conversation and communication are still there, but things seem to keep happening in order to stop another date from being planned. It seems like the person is still into you because they are still talking to you like they have been, but beyond that, they never seem to put in the effort to actually see you.
This is being benched. Typically this happens because the other person has met someone else and while they like you, this other person is someone they may feel more strongly about and it is not yet a guarantee, so they basically keep you on the hook just in case that falls through. While it is possible that the person genuinely is busy (keep in mind family and work commitments do come up) if you feel as if you have been benched, it may be worth it to speak up and find out what is really happening.
4. The Catch and Release
Much like the name of this trend implies, in this situation, you meet someone who seems really interested in you, even if you may not be that into them, and then as you start to return that interest, they suddenly let you go. Once you started to show your own interest in that person, you will suddenly find that they are too busy to spend time with you. Unfortunately, this means you have been involved in a catch and release situation. This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the other person who simply cannot commit for any number of reasons, particularly if they have a real fear of commitment.
As Food & Dating has previously written about, kittenfishing is a big trend that has become extremely popular in the advent of online dating. Everyone wants to be wanted and sometimes this means showing ourselves in a way that may not be as honest and genuine, whether that means lying about something simple and innocent or using filters in order to look more glamorous. While kittenfishing is not as damaging as catfishing, it is still a deception and one to be on the lookout for.
While this is a just a sampling of the dating trends that seem to be quite prevalent now that online dating is a major way that people look to meet others, it is important to pay attention to the different signs in order not to be a victim of a less than honest person. Sometimes just knowing what the trends are can be enough to avoid falling prey to someone who is simply not ready to be in a solid relationship.
Image via abaicus Flickr