As the holidays near and the nights grow cold, we all find ourselves wanting to share this special time with a special someone. When our date book is empty and the nostalgia of the season sinks in it’s all too easy to start thinking about that old ex. While you may know that if you send out a text, they’ll probably respond there are several reasons why it’s a bad idea to hook up with your ex.
There’s a reason you two broke up in the first place.
Chances are your ex isn’t a fantastic person you want to be around. They may not be an awful person, but something happened to make you put that relationship in the past. Don’t forget that reason, it hasn’t stopped being valid just because lonely nights have you found you feeling a bit more forgiving.
While you both say it’s just a hook up, one of you has unresolved feelings.
It’s nice to think that your break up was mutual—that you both understood that the two of you just didn’t work. So what’s wrong with hooking up with an ex? You already know if it’ll be a good time. Until one of you starts replaying the events in their head looking for signs that the other’s interested. Then suddenly feels the full force of their unresolved feelings and the breakup misery repeats.
If feelings sprout, you’re likely to ignore the reasons you broke up.
There is a chance that both of you will sprout feelings and find yourselves with a convenient case of amnesia. All the horrible things your partner did, the irritating habits you were so happy to be rid of, will suddenly fade to the back of your memory. As your body fills you with excitement and lust your brain will happily discard any memories that would impede on what you’re hoping to be a new start.
Getting rid of an ex is harder than getting rid of a random hookup.
This one is a lot less complicated. It’s simply more difficult to get rid of a hookup when they’ve spent the night before. It’s almost like your ex-hookup thinks they have a free invitation to breakfast in the morning.
One of you is likely to get jealous.
So you decided to ignore this list and hook up with your ex anyway? Did you remember to ask if they were hooking up with anyone else? Did you remember to mention that person you’ve kind of been dating? Chances are you both aren’t entirely unattached, and a random, text or comment will bring on the insanity of jealousy.
It might not end up being a one-time thing.
So you thought you could hook up with your ex just the once? Well, the problem is it can be so easy, so convenient that you find yourself doing it again… and again. What was supposed to be a casual scratch of an itch quickly turns into a casual dating situation you already had to escape once.
They may remind you of why you stopped talking to them.
There’s a reason why you two broke up and if it’s because your ex is sometimes a jerk don’t expect that to have stopped. Don’t hope your ex is suddenly a better person. Just avoid the mess and don’t hook up with an ex.
It will dredge up old hurts.
Regardless of whether you ended it or not there’s probably some hurt left behind in your relationship. Leave it there, hooking up with an ex will only bring those hurts back up.
Can cause feelings of shame for letting them back in your bed.
If your ex is an ex because they are awful, you’re probably going to feel pretty bad for letting that person back in your life, let alone in your bed. Avoid the morning after shame and just don’t hook up with your ex.
You may be embarrassed if the news makes it back to your friends.
Shared friends mean shared stories. While you might have had the forethought to keep your hookup with your ex on the down low, your ex might not be so wise. So if you don’t want anyone hearing about it, you’re better off not doing it.