It’s Saturday night, you and your girlfriends are out at a bar, and you spot someone you’d like to talk to. Fast forward two hours and too many drinks later, and you still haven’t worked up the nerve to approach this cute stranger.
Or, even worse, you’ve approached them and totally bombed your attempts at being casual and clever.
Not all of us are gifted with the innate ability to flirt – and that’s okay! We can’t all be natural-born lady-or-men killers. (Quick and annoying note about how there’s no female equivalent of a "Casanova." Ugh.)
But you don’t need to be "smooth af" to land a date, not when you have a wingwoman. What’s a wingwoman, you ask? Well, a wingwoman worth her salt will do the following things:
1. Pumping You Up
First and foremost, your wingwoman should be giving you the confidence you need to talk to anyone! That includes getting ready with you, helping you to craft a look that will make you feel unstoppable, and amping you up with wonderful, positive energy.
2. Keep an Eye Out
Your wingwoman should have her eyes open for you. She’s not necessarily looking for someone for herself or another buddy, she is looking for people she knows you’ll find attractive.
What’s more, she will be watching for anyone who is checking you out. You might not be looking around for who’s paying attention to you (and, if you’ve got a good wingwoman, you shouldn’t have to) but your friend will be. With a good knowledge of your "type" and an alert eye, your wingwoman should be pointing you towards potential romps.
3. Introducing You Smoothly
The biggest role of a wingwoman is introducing you to anyone you might be too nervous to approach yourself. She should be talking you up, highlighting your best traits to the cutie in question, and creating some effortless reason why you and this stranger need to meet.
4. Warding Off Unwanted Attention
While your wingwoman should be drawing you to the people you want to talk to, they should also be working to keep anyone you don’t want to talk to far away. Yep, we’re talking about that creepy older guy who keeps trying to dance up on you.
This could also mean keeping intruding "friends" or other interested parties away while you’re trying to work your magic with a stranger.
So, how do you know if you are in need of a wingwoman? Here are a few key signs:
1. You’re Always Surprised When Someone’s Into You
There was a super cute guy who couldn’t have been more clearly checking you out – but it goes right over your head. It’s okay (even, we would argue, really great) that you’re not wrapped up in getting attention from others! But when it comes to trying to land a date or a hookup, this can be against your best interest.
2. You Go for the Wrong People
If you find that you always gravitate towards toxic people/relationships, you might need another pair of trusted eyes to guide you to the right people. Obviously, only you know if you’re attracted to someone or not, but a friend who gets you and knows what you need can help you break out of a rut.
3. You’re Nervous
Trying to woo a stranger is scary, there’s no getting around that. But some of us are more freaked out by the prospect than others. If you find that you’re too afraid to approach someone out of sheer nerves, you may need a confident, outgoing go-between to make things easier for you.
4. It Makes You More Comfortable
The bottom line is that you feel comfortable when you’re out. That can involve flirting or just hanging out with your friends – it depends on what you’re feeling. And if you feel uncomfortable without a trusted number 2 by your side, then you need a wingwoman in your life!
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