When you think of romance and the beauty of love, it seems that kissing is this magical moment that is the ultimate form of intimacy (at least according to the Hollywood standards of love and romance). It is the moment that we all wait for in a love story, and it is the scene in every Disney Princess movie that we are longing to see.
But the problem is that there are people who don’t actually think of kissing as being the end all, be all of romance and intimacy. Just like sex is not always the answer to everything in a relationship, neither is kissing.
The thing is that just like there are people out there who can’t achieve orgasm through penetrative sex, there are people who don’t find kissing a major turn on. However, while it may not be right for everyone, pressing lips together and going for that French kiss seems to be a mandatory part of such acts as foreplay and just general intimacy (cuddling, sex, etc…). In reality though, there are a lot of people who think that not only is kissing overrated, but it is also not actually romantic in the least.
In a report published by Human Relations Area Files, they point out that kissing is not an universal means of human intimacy. For some cultures and people, kisses are not a sign of affection or love, but instead are seen as odd or even disgusting acts.
However, while we certainly don’t find it a disgusting act (some of us enjoy kissing), we can understand why some people might find it odd. Whether it is a conditioned response from our childhood, or even an early sign of human civilizations trying to find another human to connect with, kissing has a unique origin that is not necessarily based in romance and love.
For those of us who don’t fall in line with Hollywood’s apparent belief that kissing is the pinnacle of romance and the gold standard to which we must all fall in line, there are other forms of intimacy that are perhaps much more romantic. Over the years, we have compiled plenty of lists talking about other forms of intimacy beyond sex, and while kissing has certainly made these lists, they are not the only intimate acts that express our emotions. And this is important, because for some of us, these acts of intimacy are more in line with how we want to express our romantic inclinations.
If we are looking to be intimate with our partner and are not as into kissing as someone else might be, we may instead turn to things like cuddling, playing with their hair, running our fingers over their skin, or even just holding hands. And if we are looking to heat things up, there are plenty of alternatives to kissing that can get the fires burning (even if your lips are still involved).
It is up to each of us to decide what we are comfortable with and what acts of intimacy we want to engage in with out partner. And being honest with your partner is also important. You never know if your partner feels the same way and is also not a big fan of kissing. Besides, you might find that over time you enjoy the act more and more because you have found someone you truly connect with.
Kissing, like anything else, is something you can get better at with practice, and it is entirely possible that it is the lack of technique and skill that causes a person to not enjoy it. The more you do it, the more you may enjoy it. But even if that is not true, your partner should still know how you feel.
Whether you get more comfortable with sharing kisses with your partner or not, we still believe that it is an act of intimacy that is in many ways overrated. There are so many other ways you can express your emotions and romantic inclinations, and there is nothing wrong with choosing one of those actions over locking lips. Cuddling, hand holding, and even playing with your partners hair are all perfectly wonderful substitutions that are just as intimate and satisfying as a kiss.