If you have ever been unfortunate in love, which many of us have been, then this advice is for you.
A broken heart takes time to heal, and even longer if you find yourself pining for your lost love. Chances are slim if you think you will remain the same person you once were before your relationship ended.
This is because you are not the same anymore. You have become wiser and stronger by knowing how to extend your love for yourself to another person, but sometimes that love must retreat to where it came from when that person is no longer who you love, or when you are no longer who they love.
It’s unfortunate, but it happens all the time, and you may be feeling lost on how to get back on your feet again.
Below are the stages of a breakup and what you can do when you feel hopeless of ever finding love again.
Stage 1: The actual breakup
This is the stage when you are most likely going to be at your most vulnerable.
It is best to let out your grief as you mourn the end of your relationship. You may be tempted to watch a romantic movie, but just know that those movies exist to make romance more of a fantasy than it is.
This is why there are also many songs about love, which may be more beneficial to your situation.
If you are feeling lonely, call up an old friend and talk it out, because that friend may have missed you when you were busy with your ex.
The more friends who support you at this time, the better your chances of finding relief.
You may learn a thing or two about what your friends went through during one of their breakups because it is rare to find someone to love and be loved by, and even more unusual to have that someone remain in your life always.
Warning: Try not resorting to anger, because you do not want to play the blame game. Learn what led to the breakup and move on to the next stage.
Stage 2: Moving on
After you have mourned the end of your relationship, you may decide to go through your old things. If your ex-was a good person to you, you don’t have to get rid of everything about them.
Maybe hold onto one or two items so that you can remember the good times you had and the experiences you shared.
By getting rid of everything about them, you are also getting rid of everything that you were with them. Ask yourself if getting rid of the bad is greater than getting rid of the good.
Perhaps those one or two items you keep may serve a purpose of reminding you how to enjoy better good times and better experiences with someone else.
This is also the time when you may want to redo your room, for example, or to change your appearance. You have been through a lot and are different from who you once were.
Tip: By learning to move on, you create a space for a new love to enter, either for yourself or someone special.
Stage 3: Learn to be single again
Remember what you did before you met your ex? Well, do those things again, especially if they made you feel good about yourself.
Not only will you learn how to be single again, but you may find that your favorite hobbies bring more smiles to your face than your ex ever could.
By learning to be single again, you are becoming more independent, and all the hobbies you enjoy now may be great conversation starters for when you are ready to date again.
Warning: Just because you are single now does not mean that you should jump into another relationship. Take time to enjoy yourself and have some fun, because you deserve that.
Besides, those in a relationship that you once thought had it better than you may be deceiving you. Perhaps they fight behind closed doors or share nothing in common.
You are fortunate to be able to enjoy the company of others and to leave when you don’t.
Stage 4: Evaluate past dating mistakes
When you were just getting over your breakup, you may have wanted to know when things started to go wrong.
Now that you have had time to yourself, if you notice a pattern concerning your love life, you may want to take notes.
By finding a pattern, you may be able to fix it before you enter your next relationship. Take this time to self-reflect.
Notice when your mood or the mood of the person you once loved changed. What happened? Be honest and upfront about it with yourself.
Warning: If you skip this stage, you may cause yourself more heartache in the future, and you don’t want that, right?
This may take some time to find a pattern if there is one. If there wasn’t a pattern, was it a wrong time? Did you or the other person change?
Stage 5:Learn to try dating again
The chances of finding love are high if you find love while working on your hobbies.
During the last stage of a breakup, you may still be searching for someone like your ex, but with time and some self-reflection, you may even want to date someone opposite of what your ex-was.
Warning: Whatever you decide to do, do it because you want to, and not because you want to look or feel good doing it.
Now that you have had time to mourn the death of your old relationship, moved on, learned how to be single again, and evaluated past dating mistakes, you may be ready to try dating again!
Warning: Just because you are willing now, does not mean that you should date at this time.
There is no pressure to be single or to be in a relationship. Just enjoy where you are at in life, and when you are at your happiest, the right person for you may appear. Just take my advice for it. Never give up hope for finding love.